Not many people know this, but I was actually born and raised in the small Caribbean island of Puerto Rico, La Isla Del Encanto. I lived in PR until my 7th birthday, when my family moved to the US to start my 2nd year in elementary school.
You might ask "But Nina, you don't have an exotic accent that we can later make fun of in Superbowl commercials?"
This is sadly true, somewhere between charting my process on the Hooked on Phonics Board and 10 years in the US public school system I lost any trace of a Latin accent the permeates the second half of Florida.
Pre-Ke$ha
I like to think of myself as having a TV accent (also known as the Sitcom Accent), which my dad likes to call the Long Island Shiksa accent. When we first moved, since my parents didn't have the time nor the energy to teach their abnormally gangly daughter a language they didn't really understand themselves, television became my after hours education with Fran Drescher and Rosie O'Donnell as my tutors.
I give it four Knishes!!
The Rosie O'Donell show was perfect because it was right after school, so it quickly became part of my weekday routine; right after catching the bus and before practicing NSYNC dance routines. I mean come one! She had her own cartoon! How was I not suppose to know this wasn't mean to be a kids show? To be honest, I don't even remember being at all interested in what guests were on, Rosie was always the main attraction. I even dreamed about going to her show and being the person who introduced the show and what I would wear and say.
I would wear my favorite pink overall dress with big purple buttons and yellow ducks on the hem, and I would say:
"Hi! My name is Nina from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and this is the Rosie O'Connell Show. Today's guests are Bette Midler, Barbara Streisand and Scarlett Johansson. HIT IT JOHN!!!"
My butterfly clip (or maybe clips) would twinkle in the spotlight when I yelled and pointed to the stage "AND HERE'S ROSIE!!!!!"
I think we can all agree lesbians are the best talk show hosts. AMIRIGHT?!
I thought she was the funniest woman alive, until I met Fran Drescher.
Queens of Long Island
If you haven't seen it already (though I find that pretty hard to believe), instead of staying up late watching reruns of Nashville on Huluplus, switch the channel to Nick at Nite and watch The Nanny. This sitcom was TV gold and is still hilarious decades after it stopped airing. Here was another cartoon opening, with another Long Island beauty that made me want to be best friends with her. This woman had style, class and the sharpest wit made even better by her two foot beehive and two inch miniskirts.
There are seriously too many funny scenes to choose from but this is pretty solid.
Not long after we moved, I started sounding more like a Jewish grandmother than a Latina immigrant. It seems while my meek Spanish accent was overtaken by the Long Island accent of a girl who preferred to stay inside and watch Funny Girl. Even though I wish I still had some fragment of my Spanish accent left, I'm glad it was just another thing I inherited from the Long Island Goddesses who taught me everything I know about being a bad ass funny lady.
